The Gift of Healing

My beloved grandmother Farida. 

My Story

I was born into a Tatar family who migrated to Uzbekistan in the 1940's to escape war and famine in Tatarstan, the republic of Russia. I can proudly say that our lineage consists of very strong and powerful women, both on my mother’s and father’s side. These women have survived war, famine, poverty and their husbands, at a very young age. They had to learn to provide for their children, take care of their older parents and households, while working two or three hard jobs. A lot of women on my mother's side were naturally gifted as healers, shamans, card readers, psychic mediums and sorceresses. My maternal grandmother Farida, whom I’ve shared a very special bond with and spent a lot of time growing up, was a natural born healer and shaman. My grandmother Farida has healed many people from life threatening illnesses and saved their lives, including mine, when I was 16.  She was not a doctor but she had a power of a doctor. She used to go into the mountains and forests to pick different herbs, roots, seeds and flowers, out of which she would make her own medicine. She also used prayers and her hands as a form of healing. At that time no one even heard of Reiki, but my grandma was already practicing it, subconsciously. Farida was our family’s guardian Angel. Our family was closely-knit and drama/gossip/conflict free when grandma was alive. She has kept the family together and knew how to keep a secret. She sure took a lot of those secrets into the grave with her. Everyone would come to her seeking advice and guidance, sharing problems and secrets, receiving a meal and a bed to sleep and a lot of love. Everyone felt welcomed and loved around her. I was no exception. She had the biggest heart full of immense love for people, animals and life itself. When Farida was in her early 40’s, she had developed a gift of a psychic medium. She started seeing the unseen and making accurate and shocking predictions. People were waiting in lines to be seen by her. Many of those people would travel from different cities and regions. This was taking place in Uzbekistan, where I was born and raised. When I was 20, I moved to USA, but always stayed in touch with my grandma Farida, especially when I needed to know something or had to make a serious decision. I trusted my grandma’s predictions 100% and always followed her advice and guidance. 7 years later, my grandmother has passed away, suddenly and unexpectedly. My world was shattered. I lost my best friend, teacher, guru, guardian Angel; someone who loved, supported and accepted me unconditionally, which is a Gift in itself. Since my grandmother’s passing, negative events in my life were starting to occur more and more. I began to experience betrayal, back stabbing and vileness from close people.  It is no wonder as my Guardian Angel has left me. I felt disappointed (in people), depressed and completely lost. I wasn't a happy, cheerful and ambitious person anymore. Before turning 30, I've graduated from Pepperdine Graziadio Business School and signed up for a 2 week mastery in Transformational Training program (MITT) in Los Angeles, CA. The MITT training was a life changing experience, which set me off on my spiritual journey and turned me into a happier and better version of me. I found books, teachers, places and practices that helped me deepen my understanding of life, love, death, traumas, healing, divinity and more.  A few years later I was called by some unknown force/spirit to visit Amazonian jungles where I spent a week with Peruvian shamans. During one of the shamanic ceremonies, I got spiritually connected with my grandmother's spirit. I felt her presence the entire ceremony. It was revealed to me that her spirit called me to travel to Peru so that she could pass her healing gift on to me. In our culture it's believed that before someone with a special gift passes away, they must pass their gift on to someone (usually family members), who has the potential to carry out the gift and continue the family legacy. Since my grandmother has passed unexpectedly, she wasn't able to pass her gift on to anyone, that is why her spirit called me to fly to Peru where I was cleansed, healed and received the Gift. It was a very sacred and powerful experience. Since that shamanic trip to Peru, a lot had changed. My intuition was getting stronger and I learnt to trust it. I've realized that Los Angeles was not a good city for me to live in, it did not aligned with my new energy, so I made a decision to move to New York. In New York I got into Zumba, Arts and writing. I've made a lot of friends, enjoyed my new community, traveled a lot and was very happy. Every once in a while I would use the gift of healing on myself, friends and relatives, which included psychic surgeries, the shamanic cleansing and healing techniques I've learned from the Peruvian shamans and my grandma when I was younger. However, I did not fully commit to it. I wanted to become a writer and artist, but God had a different plan for me. At the end of 2023 I moved to New Jersey after living 7 of my happiest years in New York. I was stressed and exhausted from the busy life of New York, its constant traffic, crowds and limited space. I wanted to start a new chapter of my life that is more peaceful and stress free. I have joined a gym near my new home and was taking a lot of dance and yoga classes. One day, during a yoga class I had a hard time keeping a balance, I kept falling and falling. It was so embarrassing because I practiced yoga for years and was very good at it. My condition was getting worse day by day; I could not walk straight/normal anymore, my legs felt very weak and my feet and toes were becoming numb. Ive seen many different specialists and no one could diagnose my condition. To make a long story short, I ended up alone in a new state and neighborhood with deteriorating health and no health insurance.  I was unable to walk, drive, work and provide for myself.  Everything was taken away from me: my joy, independence, health, peace of mind, money, mobility, opportunities and hope. Obstacles, losses, pain, tears, silent screams, deteriorating health and -  NO ONE could help me. I was living in survival mode. I was brutally attacked on all fronts. For the first time in my life I felt hopeless, helpless and powerless. Even my soul and connection to God seemed to be taken away from me. I was fighting very hard for my life, but the more I fought and tried to find ways to rescue myself from the situation, the harsher I was attacked. So I stopped fighting. I've used up all my strength, energy and available resources. I was exhausted. I gave up and surrendered. I was dead energetically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. The only thing that was left of me was my shadow.   One day when I had a little bit of energy in my body, Ive set up a praying altar. Ive always had a praying altar in my other homes, but not in my new New Jersey home. I found a picture of my grandma, placed it at the altar and started praying. I begged her for help. I talked to her as she was alive, told her everything I was going through, sobbing uncontrollably. 

That night I slept so peacefully. The next day I started receiving different messages, signs and insights. These signs and insights have attracted important people, teachers and information that started my healing journey. I discovered that there was a vicious spell cast on me, so I began learning more about it. I also learnt how to get rid of it and protect myself. Once the witchcraft was removed, my luck has returned. I found great doctors and specialists who saved my health. While recovering from my health condition, I found a Reiki school nearby and took the course. I used Reiki self healing every morning and night for months, which improved my physical, mental and spiritual health. Everything was slowly getting back to normal. The knowledge and information on healing, shamanism, esoteric and spirituality kept coming to me and I was absorbing it like a sponge. It also made me realize that there are millions of people around the globe who are going through what I've gone through without getting any help; feeling lost and hopeless. This thought has made me become who I am today - a healer, a shaman and a Tarot reader. I've decided to dedicate my life helping and healing others, like my grandma Farida. I now can honestly say that I'm grateful for that painful yet empowering experience. Everything that happens to us, happens for our highest good. It feels wonderful to empower and inspire.